Many women always have various concerns about sex: they are worried that their body and expression are not good-looking enough, and they dare not turn on the light during sex; they are worried about being too proactive and unreserved, not mentioning sexual needs when they have sexual needs, and waiting for the other person to take the initiative; worried about damaging the other person's self-confidence, pretend to enjoy and please the other person throughout the whole process, and dare not say anything if you feel uncomfortable... But sex is something that requires pleasure and investment from both men and women. If a woman is stressed and unable to relax, it will be difficult for a woman to have a satisfactory sexual experience. If you want to let go of your worries and fully engage in this "pas de deux" with your partner, women must first build up sexual confidence.
1. Accept and appriciate your body.
In the general environment, many people are not confident enough about their appearance. In February 2021, a survey conducted by China Youth School Media on the "appearance" issue among 2,063 college students across the country showed that nearly 60% of people have appearance anxiety, and it is more serious among women. The "appearance" here is not only the face and figure, but also the appearance of the sexual organs. The less you accept and recognize your appearance, the harder it will be to relax and enjoy sex because you will always worry about being rejected by the other person.
But will we be ugly in the eyes of the other person? Probably not at all. There is a psychological effect called the "halo effect". Simply put, when we like someone, we will have a higher evaluation of everything about that person. This is why parents think their children are good-looking, and in the eyes of our lovers, we will also be particularly good-looking. The only person who thinks we are ugly is probably ourselves. If you are willing, you might as well try to let go of the stereotypes and the "beauty" standards instilled by the outside world, touch your body like a precious work of art, feel every inch of skin; touch your sensitive parts like petals. The more a woman can devote herself to admiring and caressing herself, the easier it is to build body confidence.
2. Accept and satisfy your desires.
In traditional education and many erotic works, women always play passive and aroused roles in sexual interactions, seemingly without sexual desire at all. Such descriptions and portrayals have made many women accustomed to hiding and suppressing their sexual needs. Whenever they have sexual desires and fantasies, they are always accompanied by feelings of shame and self-blame. But in fact, sex is everyone’s instinct, and women’s sexual desire is no lower than men’s. Women should accept their own sexual needs, find the sensitive areas of the body, master masturbation methods that make them comfortable, and learn to obtain sexual pleasure for themselves. Women can try some beginner sex toys to explore their bodies and try to find sensitive spots on their vaginas. This not only helps with self-satisfaction, but also increases self-confidence and satisfaction in sexual interactions with your partner.
Many women resist masturbation, thinking that it is harmful to the body or that long-term masturbation will make orgasm more difficult. This is not actually the case. As long as you pay attention to cleanliness and hygiene when masturbating, it is harmless to the body. Long-term masturbation will not make the body less sensitive. If the pleasure of masturbation becomes less and less, it is usually due to two reasons: First, psychological pressure. We worry that this will not be good, which makes it difficult for us to devote ourselves to and enjoy. Second, it is too habitual and has no novelty. Even if it is interactive sex, you will lose interest if you use the same mode for a long time, and the same goes for masturbation. Therefore, find new methods, make good use of sexual fantasies, and the pleasure of masturbation will return to the past.
3. Find a way to communicate that both parties are comfortable with.
For many couples, sexual communication is somewhat sensitive or difficult. If the expression is unclear and the other party misunderstands the meaning and makes deviant behavior, we may feel that we have been rejected; or if we are a little anxious when expressing, the other party feels humiliated and belittled, and neither of us can proceed. Many times sexual frustration stems entirely from poor communication. The couple must discuss how to talk about sex in a way that is acceptable and comfortable to each other. Here are a few suggestions: Be honest about what you want and don't like; don't blame the other person, but make progress together; touching and hugging can help with conversation, but speak seriously. As long as there is sufficient communication, we can help each other build sexual confidence and cooperate with each other to obtain sexual satisfaction.
