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How to Have Sex Dreams: Erotic Lucid Dreaming Explained

Three reasons behind sexual dreams

Sexual desire is complex and can be triggered by many different things. These triggers vary from person to person, and the same thing is true for sex dreams.

Learning more about your own sexuality and desires can help you understand what triggers your sexual desire, which activities you prefer during sex, and even how to have better orgasms. 

Dreams are an important part of our daily experiences. Dreaming is a mental state that occurs while we sleep, and it can generate sensory and emotional responses. Some people believe that dreams can tell you something about a person’s conscious thoughts, although the true purpose of dreams hasn’t been established. Modern research has suggested that dreams play an important role in helping us regulate our emotions, fears, memories, and learning.

Waking up from a sex dream can be somewhat confusing, especially if it was about someone who you don’t consider particularly attractive in your waking life. If you’re in a relationship, it’s also possible — and normal — to dream about someone who isn’t your partner. Dreams like this don’t mean that anything is wrong with your relationship or that you’re necessarily attracted to someone else.

Being unsatisfied with your sex life

One possible cause for experiencing sexual dreams is being unsatisfied with your current sex life. An inactive or unsatisfying sex life can evoke sexual dreams in many people.

In this situation, your brain could use dreams as a way to compensate for sexual frustration. This isn’t uncommon, and it may be your brain’s way to create physical responses that help you release some of your frustration.

Feeling attracted to someone

Feeling physically or emotionally attracted to a person can also lead to erotic dreams. Sexual arousal can exist even when it’s not tied to a romantic relationship. 

Famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud theorized that dreams are caused by our brains seeking to fulfill certain wishes. He believed that this is why we experience sexual dreams that involve another person that we find attractive, even if it’s someone we don’t know personally (such as a celebrity).

Being interested in or admiring another person

It’s possible to have sex dreams about someone you admire or like as a person, without being sexually attracted to them. It’s normal and common to have sex dreams about someone you’re not attracted to, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Having sexual dreams about someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have feelings for them in reality, or that you would like to explore a relationship with them. Erotic dreams aren’t always related to our conscious sexual desires, and sometimes they don’t even have anything to do with sex.

How to have sexual dreams

A woman having sexual dreams

Many people have reported having orgasms while they sleep. During a sex dream, blood flow to your pelvic area increases, and you might experience physical arousal without waking up. In other cases, the sexual arousal and orgasm you experience when you sleep can wake you up.

It’s not always possible to induce sexual dreams, but there are certain techniques that you can try. If you want to have sex dreams more often, these strategies could help.

Visualize your ideal erotic dream or partner

Before going to bed, take a moment to imagine your ideal sex dream. Think about a partner who makes you feel sexually aroused, whether it’s someone you’re in a relationship with or somebody else. 

Then, imagine what you would like to do with that person. This can include any type of activity that triggers your sexual desire, such as kissing, a massage, or intercourse. Imagine the situation that would lead to this encounter and how you would like it to play out. You can even try orgasmic meditation to enhance your sexual arousal before sleeping.

You can also touch certain parts of your body — like your nipples, for example — or masturbate as you imagine this situation. This can increase your arousal levels and help you get in the mood for an erotic dream before falling asleep.

Create your perfect sex dream setup

Creating a sexy environment can go a long way in helping you induce sex dreams. It can be hard to feel sexy when your surroundings are less than arousing. It may be difficult to create an ideal environment every single day, but even small changes to your bedroom can help you feel extra sexy before going to bed.

Consider these steps to help you turn your bedroom into the perfect environment for a sex dream:

  • Wear your favorite pair of sexy pajamas or lingerie to bed. Make sure you feel comfortable wearing them and that they won’t hinder your sleep. Alternatively, wear nothing if it makes you feel sexier!
  • Change your sheets and place some fresh, soft linens on your bed. Clean sheets are always much more comfortable.
  • Play soft, romantic music before going to sleep.
  • Read an erotic novel if you’re having trouble coming up with your own sexual fantasies.
  • Make sure your bedroom is clean and organized, since clutter can make you feel uncomfortable and distract you from erotic thoughts.
  • Involve your sense of smell by spraying a nice scent on your pillows or lighting a scented candle (just remember to blow it out before falling asleep!).

Keep a diary of your erotic fantasies

Keeping a journal that’s focused on your sexual fantasies, dreams, and experiences can greatly enhance your sex life. Writing these things down can help you keep these memories fresh so that you can recall them more easily. 

Keeping a sex journal can help you become more mindful about your desires and discover things that arouse you. This can come in handy when you want to reenact a fantasy or communicate your desires to a partner. 

Even if you don’t use this journal to trigger sex dreams, it can help you improve your sex life or masturbation techniques. By recording the things you like, you’ll find it easier to identify patterns and understand exactly what brings you sexual pleasure.

Do lucid sex dreams exist?

Lucid dreaming is when you are aware that you’re dreaming. In some lucid dreams, the dreamer can control aspects of the dream, such as the characters, environment, and what happens during the dream. 

People have been experiencing lucid dreaming for a very long time. In fact, this phenomenon has been recorded for thousands of years. However, it was only about 30 years ago that researchers were able to successfully prove the existence of lucid dreams in a scientific setting. Therefore, there is still a lot we don’t know about lucid dreams, including erotic ones.

In most cases, lucid dreams occur during a phase of sleep called rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. However, lucid dreaming can also occur during non-REM sleep. 

People who have reported having lucid sex dreams claim that they can feel just as arousing as real-life sex. Despite the fact that the sensations can feel realistic during a lucid erotic dream, sometimes dreamers find themselves enjoying situations that they wouldn’t necessarily want to recreate in real life.

It’s important to remember that there’s not enough evidence to confirm that the techniques commonly recommended inducing lucid sex dreams work in a consistent and reliable manner. Don’t be concerned if these techniques for having erotic dreams don’t work for you. 

However, these techniques are relatively simple, and there’s no harm in trying to induce these types of dreams. Even if they don’t work, they can still help you explore your own sexuality and become more aware of your desires. And if they do work, they could be a great way to spice up your sex life!

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